Ramblings of My Heart and Soul

When birthdays or anniversaries pass, it is good to not feel like another (insert preferred period of time here) has gone by. No one wants to feel like another year has passed. No one expects to feel any different from yesterday to today's special event.


I, however, am waiting for that anniversary when I can truly say that I feel different than I did yesterday. Today, it has been ten months since I last saw my daughter and I don't feel any different than I did yesterday... or six months ago for that matter. This gaping hole in my heart seems to have teeth some days and the emptiness gnaws on my spirit. She has been gone for twice as long as she was here. She has been gone long enough for me to have given her a sibling (and Heaven knows we've been trying to do so).

I like to fix things. I like to have a solution to a problem. I like to be able to make a difference. I can't fix this. I can only keep putting one foot in front of the other. We can only keep trying, keep praying, keep hoping, keep walking...