Ramblings of My Heart and Soul

My husband and I joined the choir at our new church a couple of weeks ago. We arrived early to the first practice and there was only one other lady in the room. As I helped her unload her snacks for the evening, she started a conversation which included "the question" about children. She asked "Do you have any kids?" and I responded, "Not at home with us." not really wanting to get so personal with an almost complete stranger. She looked at me funny and asked what that meant and I explained that we had our first daughter in September but that she died the day she was born. Her next question floored me... "What is her name?" No one I have ever told about Raelyn ever thought to ask her name. She told me that she liked the name and then others started coming in and the subject was changed.

Fast forward two weeks to this past Wednesday night. The whole choir is seated and getting ready for rehearsal. This same lady is seated next to me and she turns and asks, "So what day in September is your Raelyn's birthday?" I told her and when she repeated it aloud the woman sitting on the other side of her said "That's my birthday!" The one who was talking to me turned to her and said "Her daughter's birthday is that day." The second woman leaned around her and asked me how old she was going to be and the first woman intercepted the question, saying "Her baby lives in Heaven. She was here for one day." The second woman looked at me with chagrin, mumbling her apologies and I tried to smooth it over by saying something like "She shared her birthday with someone great and I didn't even know it!" Then rehearsal started.

I couldn't believe a) she remembered everything I told her about Raelyn in that initial two minute conversation and b) she had the courage to bring it up again. She has not mentioned a loss of her own, but I think that for her to internalize that information and know how much it matters to me, she has to have been deeply affected by a loss. I cried that night when I got home because it touched my heart that just when I was feeling alone, she came along and was able to tear down the wall with a single question... "What is her name?"